Bambi ate your carpet

September 17th 2013 0

We never had much money growing up. So one time my dad brought home a load of industrial quality carpet tiles that had been 'left over' at work. He laid them in the hallway and thus ended all the fun of our skidding competitions over the linoleum. The tiles were made of nylon and dark green. They were not too disimilar to astro turf. So whilst we enjoyed pretending it was our indoor garden, we did scuff our knees quite a bit.

Some years later after my parents split up and my mum was dating an unsavoury man I will refer to as GT, we acquired a goat. A goat was an unusual animal to keep in an East london back garden, but my mum had always had lots of pets. She used to let local kids in to visit them all. It was like a miniature city farm our garden. The goat was called Bambi. She was not acually a goat. She was a soay sheep that GT had found 'left over'. She lived 11 years in that garden and had quite a nice life.

Sometimes we tricked our friends into running to the end of the garden so she would chase them and butt their legs.

Shortly after Bambi arrived, my mum decided to rip up the astro turf tiles. She had nothing to replace them with. I guess she just got tired of looking at the frayed edges. So when our friends came to call on us, they would always laugh and say that the goat ate our carpet. Because it looked like grass.